This is it! The premier of my new blog! I have had this blog for a few months now, but I wasn’t ready to “end” my old one. Partly because I didn’t know what to write on the new one; but, mainly because I knew that starting this blog meant that my journey to the Philippines would need closure. I wasn’t ready for that. Until this past weekend. These last 6 weeks have been some of the hardest weeks for me. Almost, harder than the initial culture shock I faced in January. Not because I don’t absolutely love being at home with my friends and family, but because I was dealing with the internal struggle of reverse culture shock. Amidst this internal wrestling, I was feeling guilty for living in such a blessed country, burdened for the people that I had immersed myself in for 17 weeks, and impatient for the things to come. I was being a poor minister of the gospel in my own community, simply because I was pouting about the time in between.
This weekend I had the opportunity to go to one of my most favorite places in the whole world. Yes, I mean the whole world. Caswell. One of my best friends asked me to ride with her down to Caswell for the weekend to hear her fiancé preach on Sunday. Despite the craziness of the previous two weeks, I said yes, knowing that this would be a relaxing weekend. I had no idea what the Lord had in store for me. The Lord knew that there were things holding me back and things I needed to overcome. On Friday, I was able-through the grace of God-restore a friendship that was in complete ruins. Something that had been hindering my worship for over a year was completely lifted and laid at the foot of the cross. Sunday, I was able to hear Chris-“brother”- speak for the staff at Caswell. Without going into a sermonette, the gist of his sermon was “the Gospel.” Chris spoke on the fact that we must wake up every day and preach the Gospel to ourselves before we can effectively take the Gospel to others. That the Gospel is not something for “those people over there”, but the Gospel is something that we should take to ourselves every day. The Gospel should be taken seriously as the most precious thing we have as believers. After the sermon, I had a short conversation with a friend who just returned from the mission field about this wrestling within my heart. He had a great perspective on the matter. He reminded me that I must love God’s people no matter where I am at-here, the Philippines, the DR. I must learn to be “satisfied” (to a certain degree) with where I am. I have to learn to preach the gospel to my own heart and then to those right around me.
I must make a confession. I have been so caught up in “taking the gospel to the nations” that so many times I have missed the root of the issue. It is critical that I wake up every morning and preach the gospel to myself. I have to realize that this time in between has a purpose and a reason. God has given me these next three months to learn, grow and minister to the people right here with me. I say all this to say, please don’t ever forget that the Gospel is precious. It is urgent. It is critical. Wake up every morning and preach the gospel to yourself. I pray that we never forget that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” God has gone great lengths to pursue us with a holy passion. He longs for you to pursue Him. The Gospel is for you.
-Mads
