All for His Glory.

“Before God becomes satisfied with us, He will take everything of our so-called wealth, until we learn that He is our Source; as the psalmist said, “All my springs are in You” (Psalm 87:7). If the majesty, grace, and power of God are not being exhibited in us, God holds us responsible. “God is able to make all grace abound toward you, that you . . . may have an abundance . . .” (2 Corinthians 9:8)— then learn to lavish the grace of God on others, generously giving of yourself. Be marked and identified with God’s nature, and His blessing will flow through you all the time.” -Chambers

I can’t believe that it has been over one month that I moved back to the United States from the Dominican Republic. It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks. The transition was very different from any other in my life. I didn’t leave the Dominican because I wanted to; I left because I had to. This small detail made a big difference. I fought with disappointment, bitterness and the feeling of failure. However, I serve a BIG God. I knew better than to think that He had taken me this far and left me to fend for myself. I had a confidence that He was up to something; something much bigger than my little mind could fathom.

            One week after arriving in the States, I had the privilege of joining the staff at Peace church (the church I am a member of in Wilson). I am working with the youth, outreach, discipleship and Hispanic ministries. All the things that I love have been rolled into one and I get to come to work to this every day! Although I have NO idea why I got sick or why I had to leave the DR before I thought I was “done”, God has already begun to open my eyes to the bigger picture. I can’t wait to see what crazy thing He wants me to do next. All for His Glory.  

-Madison

Only found in Thee.

‘O God,
I bless thee for the happy moment
when I first saw thy law fulfilled in Christ,
wrath appeased, death destroyed, sin forgiven,
my soul saved….

I want no other rock to build upon than that I have,
desire no other hope than that of gospel truth,
need no other look than that which gazes
on the cross…

May my cry be always, Only Jesus! only Jesus!

In him I have all that I can hold;
enlarge me to take in more…

If I am tempted, and have no wit,
give me strength enough to trust in Him…

If in extremity,
let me feel that He can deliver me;

If driven to the verge of hope
and to the pit of despair,
grant me grace to fall into His arms.

O God, hear me,
do for me more
than I ask, think, or dream.”

~ Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

"If your presence does not go with us..."

Whew. What a ride. The last 6 months have been a roller coaster of a time. Who knew that when I said yes to the Lord in obedience and packed it all up to move to the Dominican Republic for two years that I would be packing it all back up six months later to move back home. I sure didn’t. While so many people are thrilled that I am coming home, my heart has been broken by this change. I know that many will not understand, but I want to do my best to give you a glimpse into what the Lord has been teaching me through this process, really a glimpse into my heart.

In the last year, I have lived in three distinctly different countries. One year ago, I was living in Manila, Philippines doing my student teaching. This is where the Lord began to break all things down in my life. He opened my eyes to poverty- like you have never seen before. He started to break down walls of materialism, selfishness and pride. The Lord began a huge overhaul of my life and I am not sure that I was prepared for the outcome. I flew back from the Philippines a different person, who was not ready to be immersed into American culture again. I was not aware the change that began there was not over. I spent the next five months living in States, feeling like a stranger in my own town. This is where the Lord began to grow in me- very subtly- a love for youth and real discipleship. I saw a huge need for a heart change in my own community. I just began to pray and pray for those in my church and in my town, knowing that I was leaving shortly for the DR.

In October, I moved to the Dominican Republic to teach Special Education at Santiago Christian School. It was obvious that the Lord had called me back to an international school and to a foreign culture. In obedience I pack everything up, sold my car and moved, not knowing what the next 6 months would hold. I was back in my element. I loved learning a new language and facing the daily challenges of living in another country. Not to mention, I was doing what I always dreamed of doing- teaching special education at an international school. I was living “my dream.” When I first got sick back in November, I was not aware that it would last for four months. After my third time having bronchitis and much prayer, I decided that it was best if I moved home in June; however, when I got bronchitis and a bad virus for the fourth time, was hospitalized and put on bed rest for two weeks, I decided it was best to come home as soon as I could breath good enough to fly. To many this decision seemed like an easy one, but to me this has been one of the hardest decisions of my life.

How many people at 22 are living “their dream?” I thought I was. Over the last month, the Lord has been teaching me so much. Making the decision to come home now was one of the hardest, most humbling decisions that I have ever had to make. So many thoughts have been swirling in my head- defeat, failure, and a sense of lost-ness and uncertainty. For so many nights I would lay in my bed fighting for joy.

“…For such a time as this.”

Esther 4:14c

I prayed and prayed that the devil would not steal my joy. The Lord is not the author of confusion. He does not try to make things hazy; we allow the devil to put these false thoughts in our heads. The Lord sent so many people into my life to speak truth and encouragement. I was reminded through his precious Word of the care and direction of the Lord in my life. As I was reading through 1 Samuel, the Lord spoke to me through a verse in chapter 15: “Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice.” (Verse 22) Many times in my life I have equated serving the Lord with sacrifice (which in many cases is what serving the Lord requires); however, obedience to the Lord is better than any sacrifice. I knew that the Lord was calling me back to the United States, whether I was living my dream or not. What I wanted for my life- what I thought was a “sacrifice”- was not what the Lord had for me.

“The LORD God is a sun and shield; The LORD gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

Psalm 84:11

If it were best for me to be here and to do what I am doing, the Lord would not withhold it from me. God is good. He can’t help but be good because that is His nature. Finally the walls of hurt from having to leave and the disappointment of “giving” up what I always wanted to be obedient to the Lord’s plan for my life were crumbling.

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”

Psalm 27:13-14

I am confident that the Lord called me to the Dominican Republic for these past 6 months even if I don’t understand why I have to leave. I know that the Lord does not promise to give grace to my imagination. He only promises to give us grace in the moment. So, even though I have no idea what the next season of my life holds, but I know that I want to tell as many people as I can about the way that Jesus has rocked my world. I know that He will give me grace to make the transition back to the States. I know that I want to take time to invest in those around me and to disciple those that the Lord allows me to. I want to live in such a way that draws people to the Jesus, because lets be honest. This is not about me. This is all about bring glory to God. That's what life is all about.

And Mary said, "Behold, the bond slave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

Luke 1:38

Thank you so much for your prayers during this transition in my life. It will definitely be difficult and challenging; however, I have full confidence that the Lord’s hand is on here as I have prayed this verse over and over.

Then he said to Him, "If Your presence does not go with us,

do not lead us up from here.”

Exodus 33:15

- Madison Clair

Things I will miss:

I thought I would write a few things that I am going to miss about the DR as I head back to the US on Friday. Hope you enjoy!

#1 My awesome students. I have grown to love my job in the Dominican Republic. Yes, sometimes it is hectic. Yes, sometime it is extremely overwhelming. Yes, it is always challenging; however, there has not been one day that I wake up dreading my job. How many people at 22 years old are living their dream? [More on this in the next blog post] I am really going to miss my job, co-workers, school and the wonderful kids that I get the privilege of working with every day.

#2 Speaking Spanish. In the beginning learning Spanish was a bit overwhelming and intimidating; however, when I finally made it over the hump of intimidation I fell in love. I love being able to meet someone on their level and communicate in their native language. I have a long ways to go, but I plan to be very intentional to continue to use my Spanish in the States.

#3 La Playa (the beach!). I am definitely- hands-down- a beach girl. Living so close to one of the most beautiful beaches in the whole world has spoiled me. I blame it partly on the fact that the beach is the one place where I can actually breathe. I will definitely miss the beautiful waters, kite surfers and sandy beaches.

#4 My church- Vida Nueva. I have grown attached to the church that I have attended here in the Dominican Republic. When I first started going to VN hearing a sermon in Spanish was overwhelming and tiring, but now I love the challenge. I love singing songs in Spanish and greeting my brothers and sisters at church.

#5 This season of my life. One of the hardest things about this transition has been accepting the fact that this season of my life is coming to an end (for now). I have fallen in love with the Dominican people and culture. I love everything about teaching in an international school- despite all of the challenges. I have had a wonderful roommate that has encourage me and stretched me to be more like Jesus. This by far will be what I miss the most. I plan to post again this week about the thoughts of the transition, so stay tuned for more to come!

Thanks for reading! Que tengan un buen dia. [ Have a good day!]

-Madison

Hallelujah, Christ arose!

He is RISEN! This is the second year that I have spent Easter in another country. Last year I was living in the Philippines during Easter. I was able to experience Maundy Thursday where the entire population of Manila (well, that may be extreme) makes the pilgrimage to Antipolo (about 10 miles). This year I was able to experience Easter in the Dominican Republic. Worshiping in Spanish with my brothers and sisters at Vida Nueva was such a blessing. As I was reflecting on the events of the past year of my life, I was overwhelmed with the goodness of the Lord. Easter has become the most precious time of the year to me. Thinking about the events of Easter brings immediate tears to my eyes. How many times do we sing songs about the cross, crucifixion, and resurrection of Jesus? How often do we just sing right through the lyrics and forget to savor the meaning of those words? I am praying that I never lose sight of the implications of the Cross. I pray that I would never forget that it pleased the Lord to send His Son as atonement for our sin. He was glorified through the suffering. I pray that the preciousness of the Cross would never fade. I pray that I would not forget that "while I was still a sinner, Christ died for me." The Cross is the center of it all. I could probably type pages and pages of how the Cross has changed my life and how I have found unending grace at the foot of the Cross. It breaks my heart to think of the many people that don’t yet understand the meaning of the Cross. I pray today for those who have not experienced the refreshing and cleansing flow from Jesus Christ. Until you have really and truly sat, savored and experienced this you will never truly understand.

How deep the Father's love for us,

How vast beyond all measure

That He should give His only Son

To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,

The Father turns His face away

As wounds which mar the chosen One,

Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,

My sin upon His shoulders

Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,

Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that left Him there

Until it was accomplished

His dying breath has brought me life

I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything

No gifts, no power, no wisdom

But I will boast in Jesus Christ

His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?

I cannot give an answer

But this I know with all my heart

His wounds have paid my ransom.

Pondering His grace,

Madison

You're my Healer.

“ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;, perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

The last week has been much of a blur. Last Friday, I started feeling weak and I was determined to ignore it. I didn’t want to address the fact that I might be getting sick. Again. I decided that a nice restful weekend at my apartment was a good idea. So I didn’t leave my apartment all weekend. However, I just kept going down hill. On Sunday night, I called my favorite nurse and told her that I thought I was getting really sick. She came over right away and gave me the grim news: probably bronchitis-for the fourth time since December. She ran to the Pharmacy and got me some meds my Dr. ordered and we made plans to go in on Monday. I saw the Dr. and after a chest x-ray and blood work, he determined that I had bronchitis again and that my white blood counts were down-probably a virus. He sent me home with meds and told me to not go to school for five days! What in the world was I supposed to do for five days? Alone? I obeyed orders and rested. (I really did!)

Tuesday and Wednesday I started going down hill-fast. On Wednesday night, I was taken to the emergency room and admitted right away. They started breathing treatments and an IV to help me recover. I was moved to a room, where they continued to monitor my progress. My breathing started to gradually improve, but I was still coughing a lot. In less than 24 hours I had 4 or 5 breathing treatments and several rounds of medicine. Nurse Linda took very good care of me and stayed with me all night. I got more sleep than I had in a couple of days- four hours! I made it through the night and woke up Thursday morning feeling a little better! They discharged me with plenty of medicine and strict orders to stay in bed for the next week. I was able to sleep more last night than I have for the last three days.

Thursday morning as I was reading my Bible in the hospital, the Lord took me to this verse:

“Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am pining away; Heal me, O LORD, for my bones are dismayed.” Psalm 6:2

God is definitely a God of healing! He has been such a perfect Comforter to me over the last week. Never in my life have I felt the overwhelming peace of the Lord and his physical presence. I want to thank all of you who have been praying and taking my name before the Throne since I have been so sick. I can definitely say that your prayers have been felt!

I want to also let all of you know that I will be returning to the States on April 13^th to end my term here in the Dominican Republic. My health has deteriorated since living here and it seems that the only thing that will help will be to return to the States. While this is a really big decision, I know that the Lord is Sovereign and has a plan for my future. I really hate to leave and I would really appreciate your prayers as I make the transition back to the States. I am not sure what the Lord has in store for me, but how many people at 22 are already doing their dream job? His plan can only get better right- His dream job for me is much more amazing than what I think is best! I look forward to seeing each of you after I arrive in the States. If you support me financially, I will be contacting you in the near future. Thank you again!

Serving Jesus,

Madison Clair

"Though my health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:26

He's got his hand on me.

“It is crucial that in our darkness we affirm the wise, strong hand of God to hold us, even when we have no strength to hold him. This is the way Paul thought in Phil. 3:12:

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.” ESV

The key thing to see in this verse is that all Paul’s efforts to grasp the fullness of joy in Christ are secured by Christ’s grasp of him. Never forget that your security rests on Christ’s faithfulness first. (John Piper)”

So thankful that Jesus has his hand on me. He is caring for me and protecting me. He has His best interest for me at hand. He loves me and wants me to flourish. God is so good. Here are a few verses that have encouraged me and strengthened me this week:

Psalm 27:13-14

“I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the LORD.”

Psalm 34:14

“Depart from evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it,”

Psalm 52:9

“I will give You thanks forever, because You have done it, And I will wait on Your name, for it is good, in the presence of Your godly ones.”

-Madison